I have to be honest, this has to have been the most difficult thing blog post I've ever had to write. I've been trying to write todays post in Bailey Jean's Blogtember challenge Sept 10th: List 10 things that you love about yourself! Let's kick that negative self-talk outta here! and all I've had on this page is a little cursor blinking at me as if to say "well........?"
I am my own worst critic. Are we all like that? is it just me? If I'm paid a compliment, even by hubby, closest person to me on earth, my first reaction isn't to feel happy. Instead there's an immediate little voice in my head saying "that was kind." Like I'm some lump that doesn't deserve daylight much less a compliment, so it must be pity, right?
I know, this is exactly what Bailey Jean was talking about when she said "Let's kick that negative self-talk outta here!" so, with (a lot) of help from hubby here are 10 things I kinda.... <shuffles feet... feels really uncomfortable.....> like about me.
1. Honesty - I was raised to believe there were two ways to live, one was right & other was wrong. No grey areas in between. I'm grateful for that because it gave me a strong ethical core.
2. Kindness - I try to be kind to others. I know what it's like to be let down & to be hurt. I never want anyone else to feel that way, and certainly never caused by me.
3. My eyes - My Dad told me once that I had his Mother's eyes & it made me feel special. I love that.
4. My nose - I look at photographs of my beloved Grandmother & I have her nose. If I'm really, really lucky I'll look more like her when I'm older. I so hope so.
5. Strength - Even when life has been at it's worst, when I've lost people I didn't think I could possibly live without, I've still managed to (kinda) function. To go to work & get through a shift, cook dinner, do what needs to be done, even when I'm dying inside.
6. Taking chances - This right here, this blog is a perfect example. I battle awful anxiety that makes my stomach turn over. I used to have crippling panic attacks. People in my life have hurt me terribly. All of that has made me shrink from the world. This is my own little attempt at being out in the world again.
7. My own company - I love the stillness, the peace & the quiet of my own company.
8. Determination - Oh my, am I stubborn! Seriously though, it takes a lot to make me give up on anything (or anyone.) Current case in point is trying to learn to code. I'll "get" HTML if it's the last thing I do & way things are going.... :)
9. My need for order - I know I must bug hubby to the point all reason is lost but I can't help it. The labels on the tins have to all face the same way in the cupboard because.. well just because. I'm not at all sure what would happen if they strayed or if... OMG! one tin was upside down but I'm entirely sure it would be something bad. Possibly the end of civilization as we know it! lol :)
10. My Hair - When I was younger I could sit on my hair, literally. It was so long it touched my thighs & it's always been (and still is) very, very thick & falls into huge waves. I used to have to fill the bath to wash it, then wrap my hair in a towel & re-fill the bath to properly rinse it. It's been many years since it was that length but it's still very thick & still full of waves.
Well, what about that? I reached number 10! This was genuinely the most difficult post so far in the Blogtember Challenge, but I'm glad I wrote it. Thank you for suffering through it with me honeys, so, your turn dear ones, what do you like about you? sending heaps of hugs xx